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We've been close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome numerous hardships, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly blindsided in relationships. Her partner left her, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle vanished then, since they had been only interested in her husband. It shocked her deeply. She made increased attention toward our bond, probably grasped more clearly the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

Present Situation

In recent times, both of us stepped back from work so we're spending each other more, however, I feel my position between us is to listen. I open topics of conversation but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I attempt to suggest factchecking or other angles.

She has been planning a trip to a country I have traveled to repeatedly and resided in previously. My intention was to offer insights, but this was unappreciated. She purely solely sought validation of her decisions. I recently returned from a month in that place she is eager to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs without explanation, yet I doubt she can grasp the effect of her actions on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

One option is to walk away, however, that approach is rarely the easy answer we imagine. Yet having a direct talk aiming for a solution demands strength and willingness from both people.

Therapists recommend applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing how things go in your conversations. It should be as factual as possible like what a recording device would replay. Next is to tell her how it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no dispute on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. Finally is to question how you are both going to change the pattern of your friendship."

Remember she too holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to hear that. One effective method involves stating her:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly successful in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend may dismiss your concerns, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a version regarding their experiences they're unable to release as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all familiar to them. It's tough because there's no clear path here, mere obstacles. However, she might start out this way then consider your perspective. And should you never reach a fix, you'll have closure that you've been honest with her.